Researching non-readers

So, I have been a reader all my life.  By 3rd grade I was reading almost high school level books and the teacher had to bring things from home for me as there was nothing in our school that kept me interested.  I "borrowed" books from my parents and grandparents, went to the library frequently.  I'd even read the encyclopedia set my parents had "for fun".  For detention later at the private school I attended, they would assign words for us to look up and copy the entire definition of from the Webster 1828 dictionary.  (The inside joke was that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" did NOT apply to the 1828.  That thing was huge.)  Others would groan, I would complete the words assigned and then continue reading at various points, again "for fun".

Now, I'm not trying to brag about how well I could read, but to give some background into why it never occurred to me that other people could not read as well and did not enjoy reading.  As I got older I would hear people say that they didn't like to read and I would wonder how anyone could NOT like it.  Mainly because, for me, the words would melt away and I would be immersed in the story to the point that all I saw was the images forming in my head and playing out like watching a movie.  I knew what the characters looked like, their surroundings, even their voices were something that I heard.  It was wonderful, an escape from reality whenever I wanted and a chance to experience other places and meet other people on a regular basis.

On the other hand, my Dear Husband does not like to read.  We've known each other close to 25 years now and I've not known him to willingly read a book.  He's always claimed they bore him and he gets nothing out of them.  That just astounded me.  He couldn't even get through one for his classes at college unless I read them outloud to him while he would close his eyes and just listen.  He'd always remember the stories so I knew he was paying attention.  In class I would take copious amounts of notes, but then rarely need to refer back to them as I'd remember them from the writings.  He would take almost no notes, but just lean back and listen with his eyes half closed, and he'd remember everything just as well as I did.  So, I thought it was just the whole different ways of learning thing - auditory, visual, kinetic, etc.

Then we had children.  Our oldest has had problems with reading from the first.  Not that she can't read.  She can read very well.  She can tell you all the words, and even read with good expression in her voice.  However, she hated reading books herself and always wanted me to read them to her, or get them as books on CD for her to listen to.  I talked to her 2nd grade teacher, which is when they started really pressing the children to read a minimum number of minutes per day, etc.  She said it was fine if I read them to her, or if she listened to an audio book.  She would allow them to count towards the goal.  That helped a lot.  There was more pressure as she got older, but we'd work with the teachers and manage to work things out each year.  Now, in middle school, they don't have the daily required minutes but they do still stress for the children to read as much as possible.  They have to have a library (or personal) book with them at all times to read during any down time.  It has been increasingly an issue for us.  Which led to more discussions, first with my DH, then with my daughter, and now I'm doing some research via friends and family.

What I have found in talking to them is that there are people who love to read "for fun" and the consensus is that they lose themselves in the story and picture it much as they would a movie.  It's hard for them (and me) to read a book then see the movie as it never matches our mental image and can almost be painful to watch.  The characters don't match up and the voices are all wrong, etc.  My husband said he imagines from talking to me about it that it would be like the Duke cousins, Coy and Vance, being passed off as the actual Duke cousins, Bo and Luke.  You'd know it was all wrong, no matter what people tried to convince you of.  I retorted that for him to really get the point he'd have to imagine the Wiggles being dressed up and singing Van Halen songs.  Completely and utterly wrong!!!  This was especially hard for me a few years ago when they made the movie Sahara based on the Clive Cussler book.  I've been reading those books since I was about 8 years old and as much as I like McConahey and Zahn, they were NOT Dirk and Al.  If I know they are making a movie based on a book, I avoid the book like the plague until after I see the movie (like I did with all the Harry Potter books).

Anyway, I found out from my DH, then my daughter, that when they read they see words.  Just words.  No mental images while they are reading the words.  My daughter said if she reads a few paragraphs, then stops and closes her eyes, she can sort of make herself visualize what she read.  But not at all while she's reading the page.  However, she loves books that have images, like Garfield, Baby Blues, graphic novels, etc. and I think it's because then she doesn't have to make that mental transition from words to pictures.  It's there for her so she can just enjoy reading the words and seeing the pictures.  I have talked to reading teachers and librarians and they seemed totally surprised that anyone would have that sort of a problem.  Which led me to wonder even more about it.

Then last night, while attending the parent night at the elementary school, one of the kids teachers made the comment that she asked how many of the kids love to read and they all raised their hands.  Then she said "be honest" and asked again.  About a third put their hands down.  Then she said "how many would rather go to the dentist than read a book" and said several actually raised their hands.  Now, this was very interesting.  Then she basically said that they would work with the kids on finding books in their interests and their reading range to help them learn to enjoy reading more.

The problem I see with that is if they are like my DH and my daughter, it wouldn't matter if it was their favorite subject in the whole world, READING about it would not do a thing for them.  So, I came home, discussed it again with both of them, then started researching the web.  All the articles I could find that were even close just talked about people who say they can't visualize and teaching them that everyone can visualize.  My DH and daughter both have very vivid, lively imaginations.  Visualizations in general are NOT the problem.  They can visualize things, just not WHILE they are reading.

This morning I started asking friends and family, and asking them to then ask other friends and family (I have one friend that is a teacher and she is going to ask her students) the following questions, and I will keep you posted on the answers that I get:

To all the NON-readers - when you do read, or have been forced to read, do you see any visual images from the words? Or does it just stay a page of words, so you lose interest and give up?

To all the readers out there - when you read, do you lose sight of the words on the page and it automatically translates to a visual image in your head? Sort of like watching a movie of it?

Anniversary Vacation Week - very long post!

So, ending of another Anniversary Vacation Week - or as the kids say - their Special Days week.  Each year around our wedding anniversary the DH takes a week off from work - so he can end up doing way more work than if he hadn't taken off.  Ha!  It's been 21 years now and since the day he first said "I do" he's been wondering "What did I do?!?!"  Just kidding.  He's still my sweetheart and I don't want to ever think about him not been around.  He's really good to me and he's a super Dad.

This week we started off with the day where we keep all 3 kids with us to do things together.  We went to a pizza/arcade place and spent $100 to come away with so-so food and come trinkets they "won" with their tickets.  Oh well... at least they enjoyed themselves and got to play some games and ride some rides.  I rode the bumper cars twice with the younger two and they got a kick out of it.  The oldest takes after her dad and can't do rides that spin so they went and played mini-golf instead.  I got to play some ski-ball, which is my fav, and they got to play air hockey (the middle child tries to cheat!) and ride some virtual rides (I rode one with the youngest and let's just say I'm glad it was a while after I ate or I might have added some additional realism to that ride!).  After we left there we took them all to see Captain America and that was really good.  We all liked it and can't wait to see The Avengers.

The next day his mom and sister took two of the girls while we took the middle one out for her "special day".  This is basically a day when we spend time with that child one-on-one going where she wants to eat, doing some shopping (fun and for back-to-school) and she gets to have us all to herself.  They all look forward to this each year.  The other two stay with his mom and aunt and they usually go eat and try to do something with them, so it just adds to the memories all around.

So, anyway, we took the middle one first and she wanted to eat at Fazzoli's for lunch, which was OK except they messed us over on the order (and didn't even apologize for it) and they don't have just regular iced tea anymore which is a problem for the DH as he doesn't do pop at all so it's only water and tea for him.  He hates the "pre-packaged" tea they use now.  I like sweet tea and add enough sugar to any tea and it can drown out any "wang" from the tea.  But she was happy with her pizza and spaghetti so we just dealt with it.  Then it was off to do some shopping.  Got tons of new clothes for school.  I know as they get older the clothes mean more, so we found some good deals and have her set without breaking the bank.  Then on to toys.  They all love the Webkinz, so she got a new one of those.  A Pink Chihuahua, to go with the tan one she already has.  She has the whole "family tree" of all her "pets" worked out, so this one is the other's Mom, and thereby Grandma to the little dog that was that one's daughter.  I think the tan one is married to her otter ("Er"), but don't quote me on that.  I loose track.  She also got the remote control Littlest Pet Shop car that she just had to have, though she donated the accompanying chinchilla to her younger sister, who doesn't have as many LPS toys (though I think she'd have more if her older sisters 'fessed up to taking them!).  Of course, the highlight of her day was going to the local pet store, which is very kid-friendly and lets them come in and hold/pet the animals without pressuring you to buy one.  With the DH's allergies, dogs and cats are a no-go but at least they get to pet them.  She held some little fluffy golden puppy that tried to jump out of her arms and go after a HUGE dog that was in the other side of the shop, which has a vet office.  Thankfully I caught it before it jumped down!  ;-)  Unfortunately for me, the DH spotted a little green lizard and he knows I love lizards so he called me over to see it.  Now, he swears he did not see what was in the next cage, but I wonder.  The whole place heard my shriek as I spied the big, hairy, brown tarantula!!!  UGH!!  But I forgave him (sort of) and we left quickly after that.  The day ended with snacks (pretzels for us and chocolate brownie ice cream for her) and picking up the sisters at Grandma's.  Whew!

The next day was the Oldest Daughter's turn.  We already knew what she wanted for lunch.  It was just figuring out what else to do with her.  First we went to the local crafts/art supply store.  Whenever I take them there they bug me about tons of stuff they want so I took plenty of coupons so we could each get one thing and get the 40% off per item.  Well, she got some things there, but one didn't even need the coupon and the other two were not particularly art supplies.  One was a princess figurine in a pretty blue dress, and the other was a set of mechanical pencils, which could be used for art, but still... when they constantly bug me for things like paint sets, clay, etc. when we go there it's frustrating that she only gets those two things.  (Turned out OK for me though as the DH used the last coupon to surprise me with the nativity set that I've wanted for about 5 years but they never had in stock till this year - Happy Anniversary to me!)  Then off to her fav restaurant, Cracker Barrel, for lunch.  She loves the mac&cheese and the hashbrown casserole.  So, we got her the big veggie plate and 3 of them were the M&C and the fourth was the casserole and she ate all of it, plus some biscuits.  Funny because she's so skinny and the waitress was like "I didn't think she could eat all that!"  Of course, she burns it off fast as she's one big bundle of nervous energy.  She also got a new Webkinz herself while there - a VERY SOFT pink and white dog that just looks happy all the time.  Too cute.  Then it was on to the mall and another store for clothes shopping, which she hates but put up with so she could go look at the toys.  She claimed to want a LPS playset, but I think that was just to bug her sister.  Then a Ken doll, but the hair on the Ken dolls these days is atrocious - give me the good ole plastic do for Ken anyday over the poofs of hair they do now!  So we went to ToysRUs and looked at everything there.  I finally said "what is it you really like to DO?!" and she said she really likes Playdo.  So, we got the Playdo dog that has all kinds of shapes to mold, and then her Daddy sprung for an extra box of 36 different colors of Playdo so all 3 girls can use it.  Then back to the pretzel place for snacks (I could go daily - love the Garlic pretzel!) and she got the cinnamon sugar nuggets.  Then off to pick up the other two again.

The next day was interesting as the oldest child had some health issues that morning, but we got it worked out and got her dropped off with the middle one at Grandma's.  My recommendation was to have a fairly quiet day, which was fine with Grandma and Aunt.  ;-)  Then off with the youngest for her "special day".  She wanted a new Webkinz since the other two had each got one on their days, and so now they each had 4 and she only had 3.  What she didn't know is that we had already got her one for her upcoming bday so we had to think fast to distract her from those.  She wanted to go to the pet store too so we did and she held a couple of puppies but what got everyone's attention the most was when a guy came out of the vet with a HUGE harlequin Great Dane.  That is the kind of dog the DH wants if he ever has a dog so he tried to take some pics but was too far away.  I took the camera, then took the youngest and we got some pics and got to pet him while the DH talked to the owner about him.  A very sweet, gentle dog, which was good as he could have swallowed my child whole!!  She always seems to be the one to see the big dogs.  The VP at her school had a Mastiff for a "grandchild" and her son brought it up one day and I have a cute pic of my little girl next to it.  Then it was to a fav corn dog/root beer place for lunch.  Actually, she had a hot dog, but they are known for their corn dogs and I ate there a lot when I was a kid so it's nice that she loves it so much now.  Awesome root beer in a mug!  Then we hit the store for toys/clothes and got her decked out with some new shorts - she has plenty of shirts already.  When we got to the toys she spotted a Capt America shield that shoots foam discs (and they really do go a long way!) and immediately put it in the cart.  She looked at all the other toys, including the LPS (which she got one of), but nothing could beat the shield.  Now all she wants is a helmet to go with it.  Not just a mask, but an actual helmet made to look like his.  Then we went to the beef jerky store for snacks, then to see the movie Thor (she LOVES superheroes, if you can't tell).  Finally off to pick up sisters at the end of another fun day.

Lastly was our day, to celebrate our anniversary, even though it wasn't on the actual day.  We got the 3 girls dropped off then he had a haircut so I got him to drop me at the craft store again while he went.  I got the sketch pad the youngest wants for her bday as well as some new metallic paints for me to use.  (I like shiny things!)  ;-)  I also got craft sorter boxes for the girls to use to keep their LPS toys and Bella Sara toys, etc. in.  I have the feeling I'll need to get more of them though as I have the sneaking suspicion that what they have won't fit in one box each.  (sigh)  And of course, since the art brushes were on sale this week I picked up a new pack of them.  The girls have pretty well used up the ones I had, and I won't let them have my good ones so these are a cheaper pack, but not like dollar store quality.  Should be a good compromise for them.  As soon as I can trust them not to mash the brushes (I cringe when they ask to use my good art markers) or leave them to get crusty with dried paint, I'll think of getting them some better ones.  We do a lot of painting crafts so they get used a lot.  I think I need to own stock in the paint companies!  Anyway, he called and was ready to come get me so I went up and checked out.

Then it was off to lunch at Carino's - I had the Italian Chili (which I need a recipe for!) and the Chicken Penne Gorgonzola, which I love.  Also a cappuccino (they didn't even know what a cafe breve is!), but it was good and plenty of the warm bread dipped in the oil with roasted garlic and balsamic vinegar.  Yum!  No room then for dessert and it was so hot still that I couldn't get any to take with me for later.  :(  Then we discussed going to see a movie as we were so full that going to play pool (another fav pastime of ours) didn't seem like a good idea.  Since my idea of fun is antique malls (too "old lady smelling" for him), books (too musty - since I like the old ones best) and arts/crafts (he admires good art but doesn't produce any) I couldn't offer any suggestions but told him to decide since last year we went to the places I liked (as listed above).  I thought he'd want to go to a movie, or electronics store, but no, he wanted to go look at model homes since he really wants us to move to a bigger house.  I've been putting it off because there is so much to do to get ours ready, and the prospect scares me a bit in this economy, but I like to look at homes so I was fine with that.  We went into two models and found out about things like spray-foam insulation (the model with that was WAY cooler), post-tension foundations (which I'm still murky on), etc. and made a list of things to ask my dad about (he's been in the construction industry one way or another for years now).  It was fun and I like to picture us in a brand new, clean, modern home.  Of course, it'll only stay that way if I sell the contents of our current house with the house.  (sigh)  Then it was back to Carino's to pick up a tiramisu (sp?) for me and cheesecake for the hubby, then dropped it at the house first so it wouldn't melt while we went to get the girls.  Gave gifts to the in-laws as some thank you (plus missed bday for one and Father's Day for the other - we've had their stuff but hadn't thought to get it to them - but anyone who knows us is more surprised to get something on time than not) and then home for a relaxing night.  Stopped and got Jack in the Box on the way as I LOVE their egg rolls.  Yum again, then more yum later when the kids when to bed and we got our desserts.  (happy sigh)  All in all, it was a good week and we had fun and enjoyed the time spent with each other and with the girls.